I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
