she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
We just shotgunned beers for America
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
