I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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