Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
