In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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