When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
