ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
