Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
