Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
