We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Randomize
