he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize