Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
