I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
He has the fingertips of a God
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