he thought i was a dude.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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