ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
