Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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