i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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