It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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