I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
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