She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
In other news, I just burned my penis
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
