I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
im about as happy as oj after his trial
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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