The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
