Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
