She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Damn victory sex feels great
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
