eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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