i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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