Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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