Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
well most of my day revolves around power hour
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
