so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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