everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
