my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
