He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
