just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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