You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
