i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
