i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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