And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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