sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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