she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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