Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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