did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize