Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
