Moan for me like Helen Keller
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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