the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
