he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
