In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
