I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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