Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize