he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I will be naked everywhere
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Randomize
