Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
