finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
