shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He shit in the fireplace
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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