U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize