Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Randomize
