low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
