it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Randomize
