Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
