so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Do you remember whose house we're in?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
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