I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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