We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
