I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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