Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
