6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Randomize
